31 May 2017


To the guy I've loved the most
Thank you for everything
Thank you for the life lessons you've given me
Thank you for the precious moments that we've spent
Even though it's only us who know what moments we made
I will treasure each and every single one of them
Those moments embedded in my mind

To the most sincere guy I've ever known
Words can't describe how thankful I am to have known you
Though your presence before was never truly appreciated
But you made it seems clear now
And I honestly appreciate every single thing you've done for me
Tirelessly, despite my arrogance and ignorance
Towards your pure sincerity
And I convey my deepest apology for that

To the guy who has known me very well
You were there all along
You willingly lent your ears
Gave me a shoulder to cry on whenever I exploded
Calmed my violent storm 
But why I was so blind to see those 
I can't answer that either till now

Those times you've sacrificed
Those tortures I've given you
Still couldn't stop you from hoping
That somehow things could work out
And the dreams you've been longing for could be reached
I was truly a horrible person I admit
For banishing your very existence
When you're the one that truly exist in my life
I'm so sorry

I guess this is the end point
You've battled enough
I've hurt you enough
I don't want to add to your pain at all
Enough is enough
Go search for the love you deserved
For I can't give it to you
You deserve more than this
        Goodbye, you                                            

13 May 2017


I'm fucking tired
Of this unnecessary attachment
I never intended to pursue it for this long
I don't even know how it grows and develops
It all happened unintentionally
You don't deserve my sadness
Not even my tears
But why do some part of me feel something
Whenever I see you walking
Nonchalantly, ignoring my existence
I honestly don't know what I'm actually feeling
Is it anger?
Seeing you with the person who don't even care
What you've been telling her before
I was there
Right there, listening to you
The story of your misery and heartbreak
Just one step she took out of insecurities
When she doesn't feel sincere towards you
And you push me away just like a trash
This heartache seems like there's no end to it
I've tried my best
I've denied it, repeatedly
But it keeps coming back to me somehow
God if there's just one word to describe what I've been feeling
It's betrayal
You're a fucking traitor
Fuck you
Just let me out of this game